Have a Grateful Mindset Blog Post #19
We don’t always associate being grateful with road rage but here it goes…
I was driving around the city on Mother’s Day weekend and two separate people, two separate incidents, to separate middle fingers….directed at me.
Incident #1 was an intersection where I had a yield sign and I approached it and stopped….okay I stopped rather quickly. In the vehicle approaching on my right, it was a family, and the woman in the passenger seat (who I assume was the mother & wife), gave me the one finger salute. In my mind, no harm no foul, I stopped and yielded. Why raise the blood pressure? Why let that ruin your Mother’s Day?
Incident #2 was an intersection in a shopping centre where I was coming off the freeway and the person to my right had the yield sign and I had to slam on my brakes. I did not provoke the guy and I was in a good mood. As the man passed by me he showed me his impudent digit and mouthed some words that I can only imagine was “Have a great day”.
I was shocked by these two incidents. Both times, I literally smiled and shrugged my shoulders in a “what just happened” motion. I am sure in past situations I would have joined the blood pressure raising fest and let it ruin my day, but lately I have become aware of what happens to my body when people try to irritate me. I start to sweat, I can feel myself taking shallow breaths, my blood pressure raises as my heart beats faster. I can almost feel the stress levels rising as years of my life get shaved from the time clock of life.
I have not always had this awareness. In the past I would let even the smallest inconveniences control my attitude and my mood. Traveling with me was a nightmare and much like russian roulette, you would not know the outcome till it was too late. A lot of this awareness has come from losing precious things in my life and from losing things that I mistakenly fought so hard to protect.
Life is too short to chase the material things.
Life is too short to spend countless minutes and hours wondering what other people think.
Life is too short to let someone else’s decisions affect your life.
Ending each and every day with things you are grateful for and then subsequently starting the next day with that mindset has changed my outlook a lot. Now, much like a muscle, this is something that you have to build upon and work on. Years ago, my ex would try to have me write down 10 things I was grateful for and she would do the same with me. I found this exercise tough. During this time, yes there were struggles, but on the outside looking in, I had it all. I had a beautiful & fun wife, I had a healthy son, I had a beautiful acreage with a new house, two dogs, great job, in retrospect the list goes on. But I still could not come up with 4-5 things I was grateful for and when I did they would be similar and surface level.
Don’t let the things you can’t control take away your peace.
A week ago I had a shitty day at work. Things were not going as planned, people didn’t communicate, budgets were fucked, schedules were fucked, and that evening I had plans to go out with friends. Thoughts were racing through my mind,
“Maybe I should just stay home,” or
“Maybe I should stay at work” or
“Maybe I should phone or email this guy to get this set straight.”
In the past, I would have stayed at home. But I was determined to not let something I could not fix after 5pm ruin my evening. I could not control the situation, I could not do it alone, and I definitely could not do it between 5pm and 7 am. What did I do? I spent 20 minutes doing what I could control. I did some push ups, I did some sit ups, I stretched, and I practiced breathwork. I focused on what I could do and did not worry about what I could not do. This was huge for me. I am famous for taking work home with me and letting it simmer until eruption but repeatedly say, “I am fine,” “Nothing is wrong.” “Don’t worry about it.”
Famous words am I right? Anyone relate?
When you lose your patience, you have reached the end of your skill set.
When you keep problems bottled up inside, you have reached the end of your skill set.
People just want to be heard, when you don’t let people in, you have reached the end of your skill set.
We are not products of our environment. We are creators of our environment. When you are angry, you are giving away your control to another person, thing, or situation. But when you are grateful and in control of your emotions, when you are in control of what is inside you and how YOU respond, then nothing can disrupt your peace.
Are you having a bad day?
-breath
-be grateful for the simplest things
-be grateful for the opportunity to change
-be aware of how you feel
-be aware of the presence that your attitude will impose on others
-be grateful for the moments that you can work on your faults when it doesn’t affect others
I am grateful for the people who have come and gone in my life. They are like the water against the rocks; they can change, you may never see them again, they come in ebbs and flows, sometimes they may impact you more than others, but like the rock, they leave a lasting impression on your soul.
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